, is shooting to the top of the best-seller lists, and Oprah says she loves everything it has to say!
Steve says this book has a special meaning for him.
Funny jokes for women about love, relationships, dating, single life and marriage. " Clear as a bell my body said,"Listen girlfriend..it and you die." The trouble with some women is thatthey get all excited about nothingand then they marry him. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Mine isn't all that chatty but the other day I asked it, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?
A friend of mine confused her Valiumwith her birth control pills... They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies.
Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat."Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date.
As he squeezed out a toxic blast, he aimed it towards the family's hound dog Duke, in hopes that they might blame the pooch for the horrendous fart. " And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates? Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?
That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains." I love being married. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:"Don't pick that up,you don't know where it's been." If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen So many men, so few who can afford me Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I'm not going!! One of life's mysteries is howa two pound box of candycan make a woman gain five pounds. The greatest discovery of any generation isthat a human being can alter his lifeby altering his attitude. I wish you a day of small miracles - A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certainthey are their own. You're on so much estrogenthat you take your Brownie troopon a field trip to Chippendales.
When was the last time you laughed so much your ribs hurt? Yesterday, my girlfriend said she needed to take a break from me…so I gave her a Kit Kat10. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Very angry Teacher: Where the heck are you getting 7 from?!
I don’t know about you but sometimes, the silliest of things, can still be the funniest! I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer to wash my face. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have? Very angry Johnny: Because I have one at home sir!!